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Dear Graye #1 – Hopelessly seeking

Dear Graye #1 – Hopelessly seeking

October 25, 2016

Dear Graye,
As a single woman in East, Tx. I’m finding that the dating scene is rather murky, when trying to keep close to my hometown values and religious beliefs. I’m starting to think that the bar scene isn’t for me, as it strays too far from the moral compass I was raised with. And the endless blind dates.. please save me! I know that there has to be at least one “Good Southern Gentleman” out there. Do you have any advice in this area, or am I destined to a knight in shining tinfoil with potentially questionable morals and bad manners?
Sincerely Hopeless in my hometown,
Hailey M.

Dear Hopeless,
First of all, you are not alone in your frustrations. I giggle a little at reading this, simply because I hear it all the time. We can be a picky bunch. One thing East Texans tend to pride themselves in, faith, family, and the importance of our Southern graces. Well, and football of course. But let’s face it, you’re not likely going to be looking for Mr. Forever at the game..or are you? Having said that, I would suggest taking a step back and making a mental check list of things you absolutely require in a potential significant other, include anything that is an absolute deal breaker, in a separate column.

It’s human nature to have a “wish list” so to speak. But treat it as just that. If you don’t, then eventually you are counting people out before they have a shot because you’re over thinking the list and discounting what potential the person could actually have. Rather than to try to “go find them” somewhere such as a bar, I would urge you to continue to live by that moral compass you mentioned and call off the search. Do your normal routine. By doing so, you are leaving yourself open to new experiences with people in your typical environment, such as the church you attend, or maybe a charity event you donate your time to.

Simply put, birds of a feather flock together. You wouldn’t go to a produce stand to buy a package of socks, would you? Simple analogy, but you can see where I’m going with it. If you continue to do the things that are important to you, and frequent places where the activities and people do not make your compass all hinky feeling, I think you will find more opportunities than previously thought.

While I can’t promise your Mr.Forever won’t end up being a cowboy with a tinfoil hat. I can say with a fair amount of certainty, that if you are in the same circles of people and activities you are also probably of similar values and mind set. In the meantime, work on being the person you would like to offer a potential suitor. Because believe it or not, Mr.Forever could actually be going through the same thing trying to look for you.

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(as of July 13, 2026 20:58 GMT -05:00 - )